Yesterday, I worked at Church separating school supplies, Operation Christmas Child supplies, supplies for teachers and moving boxes to where they belong. Most of the time I was alone, alone with my thoughts and prayers. I caught myself singing out loud a couple of times. (very thankful I was alone, I’m in choir to smile!) My mind flooded with memories and thoughts. The times Amanda would help me take care of projects I seem to always be involved in. We would laugh at each other, talk and get the job done. (Usually with child or two running around us). She loved working on projects for local people. Things she could do to help people right around her. Most of the time, no one had any idea what we were doing. We had a good time with each other though.
Then I left, went to a new house to clean some windows. Physically I was getting to the point I could hardly move. Mentally, I was at same place I was at Church. Amanda would have been right there with us. Cleaning whatever, telling us all how to do it, laughing and poking fun at everyone, especially me. Amanda would have had a good time laughing at me hanging out the window to clean it. Or she would have had all the kids, doing something with them or feeding us all supper. She was always involved with us all.
Amanda loved us. She loved spending time with us. It makes for some very good memories. It makes for some good conversations in my head sometimes. Knowing what she would say, knowing what she would do – sometimes I laugh out loud! Sometimes, I think – “you better be glad she’s not here!”
I also thought about how much life has changed in the last year and few months. I thought about the upcoming holidays – Thanksgiving and Christmas. What are we going to do? My, how things have changed. Now, instead of having the – looking forward to the Holidays feeling, I have a feeling of uncertainty, concern, anxiety and distress.
So, where do all of these feelings fit in with the peace that only can come from God. Peace is a common thread with those who email, text or talk to me. People want me to be at peace.
I do have peace within my soul. I know without a doubt He has given me peace. Not what you would think within the world. It’s different and very hard to explain – to have the peace of God and the uncertainty of life. Scripture tells us in John 14:27 (NASB) “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.”
This peace does not promise us a lack of burden, affliction, distress or anguish in this world. On the contrary, Jesus clearly states we will have troubles. John 16:33 (NASB) “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” This gives me a peace that no matter what I face it’s a certainty that Jesus, the Holy Spirit is with me, God loves me and I will be with Him one day. Romans 8:35 & 38-39 (NASB) “Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine or nakedness, or peril, or sword?” “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, not angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
The thoughts of the future may cause me a feeling of uncertainty but I am to courageously face it- in the future. I am not to be afraid or have a heart in turmoil. I should not be worried or consumed by the thoughts of “what’s to come”, but to realize today has enough trouble of its own. Handle the right now, right this minute. Do the right thing. Continue on with God’s work. Continue on with where He leads me right now. Be thankful. Be courageous. Speak the truth in love. Live this minute in the will of my Father, Jesus. I am to let the peace of Christ rule my heart! Constantly be in a state of prayer. Concentrate on the good. Remembering His word!! We are to be a light in a dark world. If I allow myself to stay in a constant uproar of emotions, I can not shine. If my reputation is defeated, marred, and ruined, my salt has lost its taste.
I am thankful for so many people praying for our family. People who I know and people I have never met. It’s an encouragement. I firmly believe in the power of speaking to a Living, Powerful, Holy, Loving God.
I pray for us. Wisdom. Holiness. Protection. Unity. Love. Perseverance. Peace. Kindness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Joy. I pray for these things and more for my family and for yours.
We are not alone! He is with us every minute!! He loves us!
Do not hesitate to let me know how else I can pray for you.
Love to all of you –Cindy