Blessed

My life has been blessed.  I am blessed.  God has blessed me over and over again.

 I grew up around a lot of family who love/loved me dearly.  Mom, Brothers, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins – I have even been blessed to remember a Great-Grandmother.  My mother married a wonderful man who loves me dearly, as if I were his own. Although my grandparents are gone, I remember all of them.  I have memories of great times together and lessons learned from all of them. Blessings!

 I married a man who loves me.  Still loves me after 37 years of marriage.  Growing up I never dreamed I would have had such a wonderful man love me.  He loves the Lord, loves me, and loves children.  He is a good husband, a good father and a good grandfather.  He works hard to provide for all of us but has always tried his best to go to school events, ball games, and of course, always been involved with Church, with his family.  He loves our family, loves spending every minute he can with all of us.  Nothing on this earth has been more important to him than us.  He plays with his grandchildren and it is a wonderful thing to see.  He played with our children the same way. Blessings!

 I gave birth to two beautiful children.  They were good children. I have so many great memories of them growing up.  As children playing together and looking out for each other.  We had a Lab when they were growing up, both of them were afraid of the dog because it would jump on them.  One day they were playing with a ball in the fenced-in back yard.  The ball went over the fence – the dog was on the other side of the fence.  Josh held open the gate and hollered to the top of his lungs, “run Amanda run, the dog is coming”!  Funny, he sent her out there for the ball-she was the fastest, but he held the gate open and encouraged her to run as fast as she could!  We didn’t have many problems with them as teenagers either.  I remember a particular ball game where Josh had the hit that won the game.  As he came off the field, Amanda ran to him and jumped in his arms.  She was so happy for him.  It’s the things parents love to see.  Their children loving each other.  They grew to be best friends in adulthood.   Found spouses they dearly love/d, who dearly love them and who we dearly love.  They are/were good parents.  To see my children’s families living life together, enjoying some of the same things we did – homework, various lessons, playing with them.  Blessings!

Best Friends
Brother and Sister/Best Friends

 I have six grandchildren!  Six!  I never would have dreamed I would have six wonderful, beautiful, smart and funny grandchildren.  Watching them grow up, talking to them, playing with them, and having them spend the night is exciting.  They are so much fun.  I witnessed pure happiness so many times in them.  This weekend was one of those times.  We took them to the Rodeo and to the fair.  At times they were so excited they jumped up and down and clapped.  Watching the older ones look after the younger ones, watching them ride rides together and hold hands walking through the fair.  Cooking with them, playing with kinetic sand together, playing restaurant, playing board games, playing in the yard with them, just sitting and watching TV, can’t get much better.  Blessings!

I have a Church family who loves me.  A family of people who do life together with Jesus as our Lord.  A family who I have seen over the years – have blood drives because one of us had leukemia – take a trip to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota because the Pastor’s wife had to have a transplant and we didn’t want them to be alone – sit in a hospital with friends, just to be there – cry and weep because one of us is sick or has died or lost a family member or a child is sick– help each other move and build houses –  work on cars with each other –cook food for each other –  we have laughed together and we have cried together.  I have seen one generation after another raise their children together in our Church family.  Best friends created forever.  I have seen ramps built, roofs replaced, food supplied, school supplies given, hundreds of shoe boxes packed, water supplied, clothes supplied and Christmas supplied for perfect strangers. I have seen our family gather to hand out all of those items too.  I could call right this very minute and have a need and our Church would do their best to rally around to meet it.  Most of all, we worship God together, study God together and sing praises to Him together.  We share the Lord’s Supper and celebrate baptisms together.  Blessing!

I have some great friends.  People with whom I’ve traveled, laughed, cried, eaten meals and had some of the best times.  People who have listened and those who I’ve listened to.  Some we’ve have shared our children being born, our children getting married, our children having children.  There is one who I have called, gone to her house and she sat and listened to me for hours.  There are a couple who give me a hug every time they see me, a “I love you” hug.  There are friends who I could call this very minute and say I need you and they would be right here in a flash.  Blessing!

My health is pretty good too.  I can breath, talk, walk, eat, run, see and feel.  My mind is working, although some will say not 😉 .  I can work and play.  I am able to travel.  There are so many things involving health I can’t list them all.  Blessing!

Yes, I have been truly blessed.  My life has been blessed.  Not perfect but blessed.

It’s like climbing a mountain.  The further you get up the mountain the more you can see the beautiful sites.  There are times sand has slapped me in the face.  The problems of life that keep you from seeing the sites clearly.  Lots of times I have slipped, let go of the rock lifting me to the next level and slid backward.  I have hidden in a cliff instead of climbing at times, sat there doing nothing.

Amanda’s death was like a boulder hitting me in the head and spinning me around until I didn’t know for a while what direction I was going.  Blindly trying to climb all the while in a daze.  It has made me have so very many questions.  Some can be answered on this side of eternity, some I will not know the answer to while on earth. 

Amanda’s death has taught me some very valuable lessons about Him.  I see life and Scripture so different now.  I understand verses in a deeper way.  One example is Phillipians 1: 21-23 (NLT) “For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me.”  I understand the longing to see Jesus – whether He comes back while I live or through death, I now understand longing to see Him.

  I understand more fully how weak I am too.  2Corinthians 12:9 (NLT) “Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”  My weakness is so evident to me now, how I rely on Him to get me through each moment. 

I also understand Psalm 23 much better as I climb this mountain.

” A psalm of David. 
The LORD is my shepherd; I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name.
Even when I walk through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me.
Your rod and Your staff protect and comfort me.
You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the LORD forever.”

            The rod and the staff were used by shepherds.  They were sturdy walking sticks, used gently to guide the sheep and to protect them from predators.  They comfort and keep us safe in the valley.  They help support us along our journey.  Along our climb, like those poles mountain climbers use. 

            Oh, but when we reach the top.  When we finally end this climb up to the top of Mt Zion.  We will see the Glory of the Lord.  We will be in the house of the LORD forever.  Eternity with Jesus.  I can’t wait to see the view.  I can’t wait to see the Glory of the Lord.  Heaven is going to be something to behold.  More than I can imagine! 

            In the meantime, I will keep climbing, counting my blessing and watching the many blessings He is giving me along the way.  I will not give up and I will not give in.  Though I am weak, He is strong. 

            We are in this together.  This side of life.  We are not alone.  God is with us, He is close beside us.  His goodness and unfailing love will be with us all the days of our lives.  I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true.  We may not understand it all, but I know He loves us.  Jesus is our strength and our comfort.

Love to y’all

Manda’s Mom

 #APG

2 thoughts on “Blessed

  1. This could have been written by me except i lost my 30 yr old son which left his 28yr old loving sister alone.I always thought i was blessed,loving husband, beautiful smart caring children, good jobs,2 homes, drove nice cars, no money problems. Both kids finished college and were starting their lives when an 18wheeler cut in front of my son on the hwy and he went under it breaking his neck in 2 places. Not only was his life over but mine as well.

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    1. Love to you!!!! Your life as you knew it may be over, but your life is not over. Please seek help with your doctor, mine was a wonderful support. The following is something I wrote not long ago on facebook. Praying for you! You are not alone in this.

      We must face the fact our child died. We must realize it is not the sequence of events that should ever take place. It is not a “normal” pattern in life for a parent to bury their child. But, it has happened. It’s not okay, but we can not change it. We can not exchange our life for our child’s. We can not replace them. We are left without them. It’s hard, it’s difficult to live without them. But, we must. Not for ourselves, not for them – no, we must live for others. God has a plan. The plan involving the death of our child is a thing I will never understand. God will show me one day. There is a reason we are here. Our life must continue on – other people need us.
      In my case – there are bunches of family here with me. They need to know, I am weak, they are weak but God will give us the strength we need. There are other mothers who have lost their children too. They need us all. They need to know life continues on. We may not like it, we may not want to do it, we may not ever be the same – but we will be different together.
      Remembering times with Amanda brings me joy. I remember her smile, laugh, how good she was at so many things but especially how much she loved her family. How happy she was when she got married, how happy she was to have children – how she took those responsibilities so seriously. She had a home full of love. She was a strong woman where it counted – knowing right from wrong. She wasn’t perfect, but she was my baby girl. I will miss her forever.
      There will be times when I am completely overwhelmed with the hole but I will live – as long as He allows. I will live for Christ. I will live for my family. I will live for others. My life is not over – neither is yours. As long as we have breath, He has a plan! Don’t give up!!!

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