There is not a word for how much I miss you. I keep imagining you in heaven. With Jesus, singing praises to Him, dancing and so filled with joy. Are you singing Holy, Holy, Holy over and over again. I imagine you running and skipping on the streets of gold, again singing to the top of your lungs. How’s your mansion look? Did God monogram everything like you used to do? (smile) I keep thinking about how wonderful it must be to constantly be in an atmosphere with no sin. I just can’t imagine it.
The kids are all doing okay. Busy with everything- archery, music, softball, and gymnastics. They ask and talk about you a lot. We tell them how you were such a good mom and aunt. Stories of you growing up, time you spent with them, trips we took together and everything else we can remember. They like pretending they are you. Playing house, restaurant, hair stylist – even took us on a tour of the Live Nativity with Amanda as our guide. They love looking at pictures of you too. Ask me for pictures all the time. The little one ask me to hug him as tight as you used to hug him. They definitely have not forgotten you.
I’m trying my best to take care of your dad. I know you always worried about him! He’s under a lot of stress, his blood pressure is high now. I guess it’s to be expected. He’s not used to the family being so, so, well, I don’t know a word to use. Anyway, I try not to stress him out too much! (smile) You know him, he doesn’t like tension – deals with it all day at work. He’s trying. He’s scared. He’s putting on a good face. He misses you so very much. He was telling some of the kids this past weekend, he called you “Smurfette” – he loves talking about you. You were his baby girl.
The Palmetto Half Marathon is tomorrow. We walked the 5k last year with a bunch of friends. Not even going this year. Can’t bring ourselves to go. Attitudes have changed toward the race. A friend is going to get us a couple shirts, which is nice.
Tuesday, April 11, 2017 will be 2 years since you met Jesus face to face. I can’t believe so much time has passed. So much has changed. Some good, some bad, some very bad. But, your dad and I still have hope. We are both relying on our faith in Jesus. It helps to know you are with the Lord. We are thankful to know without a doubt. It’s hard for us though. Missing you.
Easter is a week from Sunday. Easter was our last “holiday” together with you. This will be the first year we will not be with the whole family on Easter. We don’t have everyone together anymore. It’s too hard on all of us. Strange isn’t it. You would be so disappointed. Knowing that upsets us too. Not anything we can do though.
I can’t write any more right now, Punk. Been a rough week. Can’t keep my thoughts together enough. Know this, I will do my best. I will keep going. Not because I’m strong, like you used to say, but because God is. I do long to be with Him. No more pain. Wiping away tears. No sin. I envy you. “For me to live is Christ, to die is gain.” Phil 1:21 I really understand the verse more now. I am thankful to not be alone!
I love you, I miss you, kisses – Manda’s Mom #APG