Living Peaceably

#APG

What am I willing to do to live peaceably with all people?  I have been thinking about it a lot lately.  It seems to be hard to do these days.  Live peaceably.  Scripture tells us in Romans 12:18 “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”  (ESV)  All I can say as there seems to be turmoil surrounding me these last couple of years.

I do realize a lot of it is straight from Satan.  Confusion and strained relationships and hurt and misunderstandings and uncertainty and stress and anxiety are not of God.  I have been told people feel tension around me; not just around me but in the whole room.  So, what am I to do?  I really do not want others to feel uncomfortable.  I want to have a peaceable relationships with all.

It’s why I have had difficulty writing these last few weeks.  What do I say to keep the peace?  What do I do to keep the peace?  How do I make others feel at ease when I am around?

The answer to make some feel more comfortable is to just not be around them.  Stay away.  Simple enough.  There are those I have no choice but to be around, unless I become a hermit.  And then there are others I want to be around.   They enhance my life greatly.

**I started writing this yesterday.  Didn’t finish because I was having a hard day; simply had to go home and go to bed.  Then, well to put it mildly, I lost it with a couple of people.  Said things that I should have kept to myself.  I was too emotional to be handling any situation but I continued on to the point of hurting them.  Lost my self control which in turn hurt someone else.  Not a way to live peaceable with people when it’s in my power to do so.  I apologized but, we all know, words hurt.  I know it very, very, very, well.  I have to learn to give it to God – my emotions – part of being a Christian is living the fruits of the Spirit.  Self-control and gentleness were lost to me last night.  Sin.  My sin.  Galatians 5: 22 & 23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” 

The following passage is prior to the “Fruits of the Spirit” passage: “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.  Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 5: 16-21

I am thankful I can not lose my salvation.  Jesus paid the price for my sin.  My sins are forgiven.  I am still a sinner.  I sinned with a lack of self-control and gentleness last night.  Being emotional is no excuse.  I have asked the Lord to forgive me.  I have asked them to forgive me.  I am sure I will still pay the price for the sin.  It will take a while for the relationships to heal.  They may not ever be the same. It breaks my heart.

I have a big heart.  I love people.  I really do.  I go in with my whole heart.  It’s why I hurt so deeply. Especially, when I know I have hurt someone.   Especially, when I love someone  and they don’t love me back.  Especially, when I love someone and feel abandoned or wronged.  I have to pray for others more, especially when I feel hurt.  I still love people with my whole heart but there are some I have to avoid.  Bad company ruin good morals.

Amanda’s death does not give me a pass in the way to treat others.  I am to treat them the way I would want them to treat me.  I am to love them as I love myself.  First and foremost I am to love God with my whole heart and live in the Spirit not the flesh.  “And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” “  Luke 10:27 (ESV)  Anger will never produce the righteousness of God.

Life is difficult.  I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.  The next stone to be thrown.  The next thing to happen that will hurt me to my very core.

It’s hard after losing a child to not allow emotions to control our lives.  After all, we are emotional.  Unless we run and try not to deal with it, we are going to be up and down.  Emotions raging wide and wildly at times.  No one, absolutely no one, can replace the child we have lost. But, we have to remember we are among the living.  We have to treat them as we want to be treated regardless.  We have to love them.  We have to pray for them.  We can choose to not be around those who cause us to stumble or fall – those who are hurting us.  But, we still have to love them and pray extra for them.  We have to try our hardest to live peaceably with all when it’s within our power to do so.

So, what am I willing to do to live peaceably with others?  Live boldly for the Lord.  Live in the Spirit not the flesh.  Love others regardless.  Pray for others, including those who hurt me.  Guard my heart.  Avoid certain people and situations.  It’s all Scriptural.  The Word is my guide – the light to my path.  Yours too.  We are not alone.  Jesus, the same yesterday, today and forever loves us and cares for us.

Love and hugs to all of you

Manda’s Mom #APG

NOTE:  Help and support is hard to find when you have a child die.  I’ve always recommended your family physician first.  I have a great relationship with my Doctor, he has helped me tremendously. 

Secondly I have recommended finding a Psychologist or Psychiatrist through the following links – http://www.apa.org/index.aspx or https://www.psychiatry.org/

I have been doing some research and came across the following web sites that may be of some help.  They have chapters which meet all over the United States.  https://www.compassionatefriends.org and https://www.bereavedparentsusa.org

I hope these will be helpful to you.  I am not endorsing the groups.  I do not really know enough to do so but I thought with so many request, I should share the two major ones I found. 

8 thoughts on “Living Peaceably

  1. I appreciate your words as always. The struggle is real for finding peace, especially with some friends who have merely had ‘little family things’ occur. I am reminded that Jesus told us His peace is not the same as what the world knows, so we continue to look to Him and allow Him to lead us DAILY, AS A SHEPHERD. I never imagined my life would be this difficult, but He is proving that He is strong, His grace is sufficient. I am going daily to serve in entirely new places, very grateful to know that HIS LOVE MATTERS IN ALL SITUATIONS, AND HIS LOVE NEVER FAILS.

    Thank you for sharing and caring enough to write for all who are thereby encouraged, knowing we do not walk alone. Love to you … Your dear Amanda is waiting with open arms.

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  2. Cindy people scared, scared if you or they talk about Amanda it will upset you and make you cry what they don’t understand is you need for them to talk to you about her, the same thing happened when my brother died people didn’t want to talk about him almost like he never was here on earth, it made my mom and dad and us the siblings feel worse! My account lost her daughter when she was eight in a traffic accident until she and I became friends none of her other friends would talk to her about her even her own mother wouldn’t talk to her about memories of how she felt! If I could say one thing to your friends it would be ITS OK TO TALK ABOUT Amanda to you that’s what you need yes it may cause a tear but that’s ok! I would hope that people would understand that this beautiful young woman this beautiful young daughter this beautiful child was here and yours and others memories are all that you have to cling to! May God hold you and Heal you
    Love to you always

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  3. I too have lost my baby girl Skylar to a drunk/ impaired driving incident…mind you I said incident not accident because they knowingly operated a vehicle without concern for others. I have found myself alone and hard to maintain relationships because of my loss. Skylar had the biggest heart as did I before this happened. Your article has helped me tremendously. Thank you. Much love and hugs from one grieving mom to another. 💙

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  4. Lost child in the fourth month. Perfectly healthy husband also went into the hospital for back surgery, and didn’t make it out of the hospital alive…Moved all the way across the country, because I just needed my Mom. Mom died two weeks later…it’s hard. I have never wanted to punch anyone, but found out that words can do just as much, if not more, damage..We just put one foot in front of the other, and keep going..Virtual {{{hugs}}} and prayers go out to you, Sweetheart..

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  5. Thank you for your thoughts. Our daughter died two years ago. As I write this I am in tears. One of the days where the emotions just come. Out mother hearts have a hole that will always be there. Another group that helped us is Grief Share. They are lead by people that have walked the journey of loss. There are days that I have to say no to certain events so I don’t say something I shouldn’t or I just find comfort at home. That is okay. There is a Facebook page I am part of that gives comfort and a place where other Moms share. It is ”
    “By your side ” for moms who have lost a child. This is Karen, Bills wife.

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  6. Death of a child is something that our human bodies are not made to comprehend! I to have lost a child he was 28 but still my child. No one knows until they have to endure such a devistating trauma! I know that God is my Healer and my deliverer. Prayers to everyone who has lost a child, and may God give you peace that surpasses all understanding! One day one day real soon we will see our child again! This is what I live for everyday knowing that Jesus is coming very very soon! And we will be with or child again where there’s no more death, no more crying, no more sickness this is my encouragement for you! Jesus is coming soon! Hugs! Tammy Copeland

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  7. I have never lost a child but have lost a love one before. I can’t imagine what you are going through. I thank you for writing to give the rest of us a small glimpse into your life to help us understand as I do know people who have lost a child. May the grace of God carry you through. I can’t imagine how it would be without a hope in Christ. Cling to Him for he knows all our sorrows. It sounds like you have some good help with your doctor, but have you ever thought to use essential oils for emotional support? This is something that I have found quite helpful with helping me with emotions with five children. I just thought I would pass that along as that has really helped me.

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